There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good! No. You’re too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny. Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings! I once spent a hell of a long time trying to get a gobby Australian to Heathrow airport.

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Look at me. No plans, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else I don’t have: anything to lose. So, if you’re sitting up there with your silly little spaceships and your silly little guns and you’ve any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight; just remember who’s standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then, and then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. Yes, well, it’s a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

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I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end.
I hate endings!

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No. You’re too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny. There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or, as I’ve always known him, Jeff. Thank you, Strax. And if I’m ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll be the first to know.

Hold Tight and Pretend It’s a Plan (h3)

I always rip out the last page of a book.
Just remember who’s standing in your way.
Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver.
And if I’m ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll certainly be the first to know.
The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

You’re too Short and Bossy (h4)

Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or, as I’ve always known him, Jeff. I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship! Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted. Bow ties are cool. Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings! Thank you, Strax. And if I’m ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll certainly be the first to know. Come along, Pond! You are the only mystery worth solving.

Overconfidence, This, and a Small Screwdriver (h5)

I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship! Yes, well, it’s a brilliant noise. I love that noise. Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day. There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. Thank you, Strax. And if I’m ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll certainly be the first to know. I need…I need…I need… fish fingers and custard! Look at me. No plans, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else I don’t have: anything to lose.